by syaffolee

Falling

I’m not afraid of heights, but I’m afraid of falling. This must have started back when my sister and I had bunk beds. I took the top bunk until one night I dreamed of falling. In fact, I did fall. I woke up when I hit the floor.

Falling is deeply intertwined with height though. When I’m climbing something, I clutch at the railing in a death grip. Once the fear seized me so thoroughly while I was visiting Casa Loma that I practically crawled up inch by agonizing inch the flimsy spiralling staircase that led up to the highest tower while the people behind me were impatiently edging me on.

I still feel uneasy climbing up and down things that don’t look too stable. On campus in one of the astronomy buildings, there’s the Pit. It was originally dug up for a telescope, but when the hole was finished, people realized that it was more efficient to build one above ground. Now there’s just the empty Pit, a four to five story deep hole that is completely empty and useless except for daredevil students. There’s one rickety elevator that goes down, but it only holds one person; thus everyone climbs the thin rusty ladder that runs on one side of the Pit.

In a fit of bravado, I went with a bunch of guys to explore the Pit (the girls chickened out). The climb down, to me, seemed infinite. I dared not look down. I constantly worried that my hands would give out and I would fall to my doom.

But I eventually made it, and all I found was dust, an ancient worktable, and a barely functioning Atari. Even below this, was a crossbase–the lowest point on campus. I crawled into that musty hole-in-a-hole and scratched out my name, immortalizing myself with the numerous other Techers that had made it down.

I’m not quite sure if all that effort was worth it.

More links:
The Life Cycle of Your Weblog. So does this work for me? I hesitate to name drop now.
Loop. Arg! I’m blinded!
Whatsbetter?com. Some mindless decision making. My favorite way of wasting time.
Google Smackdown. It’s not very original but amusing, nonetheless.
What emotion are you? I’m neutral. Not surprising–I don’t get angry, sad, or excited very often. Maybe I’m a robot. Or maybe I’m just saving up all my emotion for something worthwhile.