by syaffolee

Domesticated? Nah.

I am not jealous of housewives, or even professional housewives (like Martha Stewart), because that would imply that I view them as rivals or peers. But I am envious–especially since they possess skills that I will probably never master due to lack of time, lack of motivation, and smart-alecky eye-rolling.

The first time that it dawned on me that a generally accepted girl’s role was practicing the domestic arts was when I was five or six years old. A ten year old cousin, second removed I think, sent a small colorful scarf that she had knitted. I used it to keep my stuffed raccoon warm. But something nagged me. Why couldn’t I make something like this? I vaguely remember throwing a protracted fit which did nothing to advance my non-existent knitting talents. Afterwards, I just gave up (I tried it once or twice, but it was so mind-numbingly tedious I decided squishing bugs in the backyard was much more fun).

I’m not a complete bumpkin. I can make the bed and vacuum the floor. I’d rather wash the dishes by hand than stick them in the dishwasher (machines tend to leave residue). I can turn on the oven without setting the house on fire (unlike a previous roommate). However, it is the tiny labor-intensive-over-a-long-period-of-time things that are out of my reach. Cross-stitch? I’d rather admire the multitude colors the threads come in than making myself bleed with a needle. Sew? No. Maybe put a button back on a shirt, but that’s about it.

The skill (or lack thereof) most lamented is cooking. Cooking, derived from fire, was what made man civilized. People who don’t know how to boil water and yet go to fancy restaurants aren’t really civilized. They’re leeches–nothing but helpless and dependent. I am not far off from this low lifeform. I can only zap things in the microwave and make pasta. A few times, I managed to make edible creations without the aid of recipes (ironically, I don’t use recipes unless it’s in the lab) but that was probably due more to sheer luck than anything else.

If there was a genie who only granted selfish wishes, I would wish to be a great chef. I want to cook a roast that’s not dry or burnt. I want to make fancy cakes that taste like heaven. I want to know how to make a delectable dish out of anything. Is this too much to ask?

Vischeck. So, what does your site look like to a color-blind person? I got this link via 30 days to a more accessible weblog.