Today I experienced short-lived happiness.
The aftermath was a mixture of denial, anger, and longing.
Of course I didn’t explode or whine. On the surface I probably looked the same as all the other days before–the people around me would be hard pressed to say definitively how I act when I’m ecstatic or depressed. I don’t throw tantrums or cry. Instead, I bury myself in work.
I know it’s wrong to suppress my emotions, but I know no acceptable alternative. I don’t want to be known as the complainer–moody, tempermental, malingering. I don’t want to disgust people. I don’t want to be the person who makes people roll their eyes and say, “Oh God, there she goes again.” There are too many of those people in the world already.
* * *
The New York Times: Genetics. It’s an excellent collection of articles detailing the recent history of science, beginning notably with Watson and Crick. The lay person will probably get the gist of them. I read them mostly for amusement value, to see how many scientists mentioned that I recognized (all of them) and to chuckle when my alma mater and one of my former professors was mentioned. I guess it’s sort of akin to a politician’s intern browsing the politics section in the newspaper.
Johnny Cash music video. (via Metafilter) I don’t really like country music, but the Hurt video was very cool. From what I can tell, the song is a remake from the Nine Inch Nails version. One reason why I thought the video was noticable was that it shows The House of Cash which is a major landmark if you’re driving north to Gallatin. When I had been living there, I took the whole thing for granted. It was closed to the public, next to a rather seedy new age glass decor shop and an overpass notorious for speed-watching cops. Across the street was Trinity Music City–an attraction that rivaled the fictional Willy Wonka factory. I never saw anyone go in or come out.