Motivation Isn’t the Problem
Well, I’m still at the bottom of the gigantic hole I dug myself into. I have no one to blame except myself (blaming anyone else on this somewhat permanent medium is a risk I can’t afford to take–besides, it’s rather irresponsible). However, I woke up this morning thinking I should start clawing my way out of the hole. It is, unfortunately, a daunting prospect, but I’ve got to start some time. Staying in the hole is quite unappealing.
There is, of course, the possibility that someone’s waiting at the top of the hole, ready to push me back in–but I’m trying very hard to not think about that.
Right now, the hole seems very deep. It’s pitch black. Sometimes, I’m not even sure which way is up or down. There are probably some very unpleasant creatures down here with me although at the moment, I don’t feel or hear them. And this is the one time I hate being so introspective, rolling the bad situation over and over inside my mind until I get headachy and feverish. I literally don’t have anything to help me except my own brain.
In real life, most people are probably thinking that I’m taking all of this rather well. Some of them are probably even gossiping and saying that they would never fall into a hole of this magnitude. Knowing their personalities, I wouldn’t be surprised if they did. Perhaps the few people who did see me fall into the hole have their suspicions that things might be worse than they appear, but they can’t do anything. They’re not in this hole.