by syaffolee

Typical Geek Conversations

Undergrad #1: (hyperactively) Hey, tell me what you learned today!

Grad student: Um. I can’t really think of anything.

Undergrad #1: Oh come on. You must have learned something.

Grad student: Er…

Undergrad #1: You know what I learned today? I learned that cuttlefish are colorblind! Hey [Sya], did you learn anything today?

Me: Yeah. Icefish have clear blood.

(cut approximately 10-15 minutes where we try to one-up each other on how much “useless” trivia on marine biology we know)

Undergrad #1: So K*, are you sure you didn’t learn anything today? Or even yesterday?

Grad student: Er…

Undergrad #1: Didn’t you go to class today?

Grad student: Yeah…

Undergrad #1: What did you learn there?

Grad student: Um…TNF-alpha?

Undergrad #1: What’s TNF-alpha?

Grad student: …

Undergrad #1: Hey B*, what did you learn today?

Support scientist: You know what? I was looking up glutathione the past couple of hours because my brother called wanting to know about this drug that this guy was promoting. It’s supposed to give you more energy. I looked him up. He’s touted as being bigger than Jonas Salk, but he only has three publications on PubMed

(approximately 10-15 minutes of ranting about figure-head “scientists” who are all talk and no action)

Undergrad #2: (cutting in) You know what I learned? That I’m stupid. I keep doing these assays and I don’t feel like I’m getting anywhere!!!

(silence)

Grad student: TNF-alpha is tumor necrosis factor alpha. It can activate immune cells and cause apoptosis.

Undergrad #1: Thank you. That was exactly what I wanted to know.

*Not a real name. Or even a real initial.

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