Highlights of My Thanksgiving Day in List Form
1. My advisor attempted to secretly spike everyone’s drink with bourbon.
2. A prof complained about having to work outside the home and do housework. Her husband sighed and padded off to the kitchen to do dishes.
3. “Mile high club?” exclaimed a father in outrage when he overheard a game his daughter was playing. “How do you know what that is?”
4. A dog growled ferociously under the kids’ table. He had part of the turkey.
5. “Due to high expectations, they all took Valium.”
6. A guest explained about the free “Relaxation” DVD: “They play this for people with Alzheimer’s.”
7. An old man glanced at the bowl containing the plum pudding. “So, is this the chamber pot?”
8. “The whole reason it’s soaking in cognac is so I can light it on fire.”
9. A hunk of goat cheese “mysteriously” found its way into the mashed potatoes.
10. After the cake was put in the oven, the second page of the recipe was found.