Gearing Up

by syaffolee

Yeah, it’s another long time no see. At this point, this blog is probably going to be an occasional thing unless I get my butt in gear and start posting regularly. If you haven’t already guessed, most of my daily stuff is mostly on Twitter anyway.

This year’s first session of Camp NaNoWriMo is coming up fast–it’s next month–and I’ve been waffling about what to do. At first, I thought about starting a new project, but I’ve been also feeling bad about some of my previous projects which I’ve started but not finished. So I’m going to do something different this time and actually continue an existing project. Right now, the best candidate is the project I started during last year’s July Camp NaNo since it’s the freshest in my mind. April is probably my best chance at trying to finish that story. I can’t depend on the July session since I am already anticipating that work stuff will be especially crazy then and will be eating up my free time (and sleep time).

Recently, I’ve also been contemplating on my lack of motivation to write. Oh, don’t get me wrong. I’m still writing whenever I have free time. I have tons of cool ideas I want to get onto the page. But I’m also feeling a crippling sense of…inadequacy. I mean, maybe I think my ideas are cool, but in the grand scheme of things most people (and more importantly, agents and editors) will think they’re stupid and my writing subpar, at best. Part of it, too, is the realization that I’m at a point where most people my age have already accomplished so much and in comparison, I don’t really have much to show. I’m probably destined to remain in the dustbin of mediocrity for the rest of my time here. It could be worse, but it is also a bit frustrating to put in all the work and have nothing pan out.